No compromises

[fingertrouble]

I have a talent for offending people online.

I don't mean to, just that the unguarded uncensored me tends to do that here. In person I can say the exact same thing & not cause even a raised eyebrow.

I used to tear myself up about it, argue with these people, get upset. I even used to edit my posts incessantly (still do, it's a hard habit to drop), trying to leech out any inflammatory material (not that it really helped).

Not any more.

I'm tired of excusing who I am & trying to fit in with the dull lifeless pedantic morass. I want to be me and not have to argue about it cos some humourless prick doesn't get it, or me.

I'm not going to go around intentionally offending people, my humour may hit home rather too well sometimes; I never intend malice, but I'm going to try and stop worrying when it does happen, or self censor myself.

If people don't like that, it's not my fault.

Comments

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Perhaps there is a middle path. You don't have to be all the way in either direction.

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

Hmm - problem is as a child of a Liberal parent I default to the 'third way route' and try and be logical and if not make everyone happy, at least not piss them off.

It succeeds in only making myself unhappy, it doesn't work.

Some people on the Net want to be pissed off, it's their frame of existence.

So 'I am what I am' *cue song and dance routine*

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Problem is you're likely to do yourself a harm if you just go off at everyone that pisses you off, not to mention it being a waste of time in most cases. Choosing your battles might net you a greater return, and just delete the ones where there's no point engaging them.

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm saying - I choose not to argue or apologise for who I am, what I say stands and if people think I'm a prick then fine. I'm not picking fights, or wanting them...just not trying to pre-eliminate them, or engage with them if they do happen. I tend to self-censor a lot, and it's not good.

I've been through the argue with everyone - then try and get along - cycles over the last 3-4 years within the bootleg scene and elsewhere. People still think you're a cunt whatever you do, so what I'm saying is fine - believe what you want, I don't care and won't argue, but I'll still say what I believe.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Ah OK that's a lot more considered than what I took away from the original posting.

[fuzzyjay.livejournal.com]

What he said. There is passive, and there is aggressive, and then there is assertive.

What I do, and I do it well, is combine the first two!

But all the books say that the third way is better...

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

Assertive is better, yes.

Problem is who decides your being assertive and not aggressive?

I had this all the time while growing up from the bitch-psycho-mother-from-hell-who-shall-not-be-named (issues? me?!? *innocent look*) that I was getting too big for my boots, who do you think you are, etc. etc. Meant I had the confidence and assertiveness of an ant; and still get very shy around people.

It's a northern thing, but also a British thing. Kills your confidence and all. So I'm not totally sure what is aggressive and what is assertive. I think depends on which side you are on.

Hence the female strength = bitch routine BS that women get. If people don't like your assertiveness they label it 'troublesome' 'aggression' 'diva attitude' - but being sure about yourself and who you want to be is none of those things. As long as you're not rude.

[pharmbear.livejournal.com]

Line taken from "9 to 5" one of my most favorite films....

From the drunk in the office..... "atta gurl"

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

:-D