What's the worst song, ever?

[fingertrouble]

Well what is it?

I'm talking about songs that transcend mere things such as taste or kitsch or lack of technical skill (so no, not Britney or Pop Idol-ites) but those that are in a new level of hypnotic horror - pointless songs, severely odd-what-were-they-thinking songs, sick songs, silly songs (but unintentionally - novelty songs are knowingly these, I'm looking for the great big unknowing FAILURES). Weird songs, spooky songs, incredibly prosaic and mundane songs...

Fans of outsider music will know what I mean - think the original of 'I'm Going to Spain' by Steve Bent as covered by the Fall, or fans of WFMU/365 Project. I'd prefer originals to covers, but also putting together a top 10 of worst covers for another podcast, so those are cool too.

So what are they? Odd music suggestions greatfully received and may be used in court and played in evidence against you on Radio Clash...you're getting a heads up over Radio Clash because I don't want to announce on the blog I'm doing another Aural pOddities show (shh).

Comments

[nlotic.livejournal.com]

There used to be a show on the University Radio Station in Minneapolis called "Cosmic Slop". They played the best and worst of the 70s. It was a wonderful show and I really really miss it. They are supposed to be podcasting at some point but nothing yet. Here's a few of the ones I remember that were really, REALLY bad.

"(You're) Having My Baby" - Paul Anka

"Playground in My Mind"> - Clint Holmes

"Mamy Blue" - Roger Whittaker (though many MANY people have done versions of this song)

I might have some more from the 80s, 90s and current...but I need to think a little more.

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

ooh I'm checking those out - how could I have forgotten Roger Whittaker? Ooh he's done some Xmas albums, I think he might feature in the Xmas show!

The rest pulled a blank, although Anka did that horrible big band cover album which was an irony-failure.ugh.

Found various Mamy Blue covers, like the James Last, nice if boring (is there one line of lyric or something? Reminds me of Middle of the Road)

[arthole.livejournal.com]

Those first two can be found on a CD titled 70's Party Killers. Everything on it is truly awful in the best sense, and I frequently used those songs as hidden tracks on mix CDs.

"Muskrat Love" by Captain & Tennille.

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

Ooh I remember that - 70's evil cheese.

I want that CD...:-D

[arthole.livejournal.com]

I figured the track listing would give you some good ideas. :)

Another awful one is "Bloodrock" by, well, "Bloodrock". 70's psych/metal band from Texas singing about death in a motorcycle crash.

Also, the disco version of "No Business Like Showbusiness" by Ethyl Merman. I have that one at home if you can't find it.

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

yes I've heard that - great cutup using that from Negativland.


Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree - Dawn? Sadly the number one on my birthday...and Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band - me and Kirk were singing this last week, horribly compelling.

[arthole.livejournal.com]

In 2000 a bunch of us on the mailing list for Aussie band Severed Heads did a weird covers album. It was actually two different ideas that got mashed together, and contributors either did either a bad 70's song or a Severed Heads song in the style of Kraftwerk. Tom himself did "Afternoon Delight" and it's brilliant - look for it to pop up on £50 Note before too long.

My friend bearzbub and I did "Convoy" constructed entirely out of Kraftwerk samples.

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

And it's a running joke between me and Kirk that the Escape (Pina Colada) song has a bit in it that says 'like a worn out recording...' was playing this bit over and over on vinyl saying - wouldn't it be good if I wore out just that bit?


err maybe you had to be there...;-)

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

OK I see you all those, and for the evil 70's crap award I offer Melanie's 'Brand New Key'

I think I win! AAAARGH! It's awful...

Whatever key that organ and vocal is in, it's definitely new but not the same...

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

oh and no-one's mentioned Archies 'Sugar Sugar'...if there was torture in musical form, that's it.

[nlotic.livejournal.com]

The original version of "Muskrat Love" (Willis Alan Ramsey) is actually pretty good. American Routes did a feature on him that was interesting. Captain and Tennile did cheese it up though.

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

not bad, but not terrible enough...obviously you hate 70's AOR with a vengeance (goes hide the Fleetwood Mac and Carpenters LPs). Farty synth is funny tho.

WTF is Muskrat love anyway? Always thought Pirate Love was a pisstake of this song.

[nlotic.livejournal.com]

I should be putting up my "The Naughty List" Christmas Playlist tonight...it's got some gems. "The Nice List" is coming soon.

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

Listening to the Paul Anka now - ugh sugary and evil. Might pair it with Pat Campbell's The Deal. :-D

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

Heard both the Paul Anka and the Clint now - the Anka is kind of sucky, schmaltzy and incredibly male-dominated (she's having his baby as her proof of love for him...and she sings about how beautiful it is - is this before or after the morning sickness, cramps etc.). Bigoted but not bad enough.

But the Clint - that will probably make the show. It has 3 things going for it - 70's AOR Saccharine schmaltz, singing children and a really odd lyric...

[nlotic.livejournal.com]

4 things going for it. The song is definately an "earworm". I haven't heard it in years and it still pops in my head and I can't get it out for a few days.

Seasons in the Sun Seasons in the Sun DAMMIT

[bismrkbear.livejournal.com]

Seasons in the sun by Terry Jacks or some such rot as that is my least favorite song from when I was a teenager. It had this damn one note hook that screwed right into your brain and left it agape so the ultra cheesy lyrics could seep in and fester. Sure it was popular, but you gotta wonder about a song that *I* could probably play on the piano.

Re: Seasons in the Sun Seasons in the Sun DAMMIT

[timbearcub.livejournal.com]

ooh that's one of my choices - horrible song, 70's cheese and depressing as fuck too. If I could find a child singing it my life would be complete.