New Year's Revolutions
Jan. 1st, 2006 05:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fingertroubleHope you all had a good New Year.
First memories back in the UK: Man smoking on the travelators under the No Smoking signs and while his gf moaned at him; John getting insulted by this family because the woman asked me what the readout said at the train station, John said 'read the sign'; it was obvious that she and most of the family couldn't read...they were heading for a place just beyond Luton, the officially Crappest Town in the UK...RMT strike and trains being cancelled due to lack of drivers, and crazies talking to themselves on the train.
Welcome to the UK! Such a shock compared to the comparitive orderliness of Barcelona. Sigh. And some people are pround of this 'not being part Europe'?
Well I got back from BCN intact, via Surbiton, despite such craziness and drunken rioting last night. in the end went to our local Chinese and had a nice meal with Champagne to toast the New Year in (which apparently from the end of this month will be the year of the Duck, ironic since we were eating Crispy Aromatic Duck...).
As we left and the fireworks went off it started raining...great start to 2006!
And now back in London and everything is closed. It's worse that Xmas I think, supposed to be Sunday opening but most places seem closed or close early. Gah.
Barcelona was good, will probably save debriefing for the podcast, but the gay scene generally sucked altho the New Chaps bar was good for social, not sexual vibe. But if you're horny and not clean shaven/long beard/bear god, forget it. The thing is the gay scene makes me feel so unpretty and ugly, just like the TLC song:
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That man can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too
Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)
I remember gettting back to the hotel and saying to John at 3am that I didn't want to be gay anymore and that is this the BS that his revoluton fought for? Was it worth it? It was partly post-bar drunken melancholia but I get that everytime I goto a gay bar. It's a visible symbol of not belonging, even to the bears. It's why I don't goto bear bars much anymore, if I needed to be made to feel uncomfortable I'd go back to my home town.
His response about not getting burned at the stake anymore being an improvement was also true, though, but I do feel kind of cheated by gay/bear culture. The bear thing as a distinct seperate thing seems to have died a death, here and in Europe anyway, and just kind of lumped itself in with rugger-buggers, chubbies and leather queens.
But whatever it is, or whatever it's called, it always makes me feel uncomfortable, even in the dark. And if they're not interested in a darkroom then you really know you're in trouble...
First memories back in the UK: Man smoking on the travelators under the No Smoking signs and while his gf moaned at him; John getting insulted by this family because the woman asked me what the readout said at the train station, John said 'read the sign'; it was obvious that she and most of the family couldn't read...they were heading for a place just beyond Luton, the officially Crappest Town in the UK...RMT strike and trains being cancelled due to lack of drivers, and crazies talking to themselves on the train.
Welcome to the UK! Such a shock compared to the comparitive orderliness of Barcelona. Sigh. And some people are pround of this 'not being part Europe'?
Well I got back from BCN intact, via Surbiton, despite such craziness and drunken rioting last night. in the end went to our local Chinese and had a nice meal with Champagne to toast the New Year in (which apparently from the end of this month will be the year of the Duck, ironic since we were eating Crispy Aromatic Duck...).
As we left and the fireworks went off it started raining...great start to 2006!
And now back in London and everything is closed. It's worse that Xmas I think, supposed to be Sunday opening but most places seem closed or close early. Gah.
Barcelona was good, will probably save debriefing for the podcast, but the gay scene generally sucked altho the New Chaps bar was good for social, not sexual vibe. But if you're horny and not clean shaven/long beard/bear god, forget it. The thing is the gay scene makes me feel so unpretty and ugly, just like the TLC song:
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That man can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too
Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)
I remember gettting back to the hotel and saying to John at 3am that I didn't want to be gay anymore and that is this the BS that his revoluton fought for? Was it worth it? It was partly post-bar drunken melancholia but I get that everytime I goto a gay bar. It's a visible symbol of not belonging, even to the bears. It's why I don't goto bear bars much anymore, if I needed to be made to feel uncomfortable I'd go back to my home town.
His response about not getting burned at the stake anymore being an improvement was also true, though, but I do feel kind of cheated by gay/bear culture. The bear thing as a distinct seperate thing seems to have died a death, here and in Europe anyway, and just kind of lumped itself in with rugger-buggers, chubbies and leather queens.
But whatever it is, or whatever it's called, it always makes me feel uncomfortable, even in the dark. And if they're not interested in a darkroom then you really know you're in trouble...
