'Just friends'

[fingertrouble]

Hmm, the weird thing about being over 40 is being in this odd hinterland, being sexually dropped for 'fresh fruit' - amount of bears and older bearded/hairy guys who are only looking for 18-20's aged guys is depressing (given what bears was originally about), and I probably didn't know how unique I was back then...I liked older guys AND wasn't expected to get paid. No wonder they loved me, saved them so much money for rent :-P

Just had the 'just be friends' line via someone who seemed interested but apparently now is only attracted to guys in their 20's, I wished he'd made that clear...

The irony will be is by the time I might be considered eligible again - e.g. 50-60+ 'daddy' type with grey/white beard (already getting close with the latter) and maybe attractive to the late 20's-30's group*, I suspect I might have just given up bothering. :-(


* Unlike these chicken hawk bears, I don't go for that 'student' age group, even though a few have expressed interest out and about I'm always suspecting they might just want my wallet! Nor do I pretend I am younger, or go to the gym, or cut my beard - all things that would 'improve' my chances, but I see no reason to change myself just to shag someone that shallow...what's the saying? My right hand is a better lover? :-P

Comments

Re: From the content of your post.

[lilchiva.livejournal.com]

I hope that didn't come off as excessively didactic. My intention was "This is what I used to do and if there's some overlap with your situation then I hope it helps". I tend to skew older but the people who hit on me are all kids. (19-29)

I retired under 40, but it's a "working class" retirement. So I don't have a ton of major common concerns with the people who are in my age group (35-60). I don't currently have kids, don't have a career, don't worry about bills, have no desire to work largely for toys. I'm set. Basically, at this point, my dating pool consists of geriatrics, people with disabilities, people like me, and young people. And, really, there's a lot more young people than people who, for whatever reason, are done working.

(I do get some people looking for a meal ticket. But, they tend to fade out after they realize that "No. This life raft is mostly made for one. And, I really plan on living in this house forever and driving this car until it dies".)

All is TL/Dr way of saying, I eventually just bit the bullet and started dating a bunch of young people. And, it's really fun. Maybe, I'll eventually find an artist type, widow, or trust fund baby, who is in similar situation. But, otherwise, dating a grad student is a pretty decent way to go.

Re: From the content of your post.

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

Yeah maybe...I'm getting a real 'men I like, don't like me' vibe recently...it's like I never add guys I fancy on Facebook because I end up finding they are a right-wing nutcase or racist or something...or their mates are, and have to click unfriend.

Case in point, just got a 'No thanks' from an 83 year old, probably because I'm 'too old' for him as his profile sets out 20-45 (I'm 42 but look older). Hmmph. Seems the over 75's are now also getting picky UNLESS you're at a sauna and it's all 'hell yes stick it in' Mr Right Now. Outside? Nope. Tis odd?

I can't afford to go to the sauna much though...:-/ So yeah I'm going to have to try and find pastures new. Difficulty is guys I'm attracted to tend to be older, but some point as I said I will need to shift downwards...

Suddenly the Koons is you

[lilchiva.livejournal.com]

Well it might be true. But, if that's the case you have to either change your preferences or change how you present, so as to better catch who ya want. Or, it could just be a phase where, for whatever reason, you're just not connecting with others. Or, and this is most likely, you could not be upping your numbers to beat the averages. There are innumerable possibilities!

Owning my own business has taught me that sales logic transfers, at least a little, into most areas of "getting what you want" Sales statistics please me. They tell me that regardless of my personal defects, if I meet enough people, I can still get laid. And, ya know, so far that's actually been the case.

(Laugh or please forgive the crassness of the following metaphor.)

You are selling Vitamin D. And, even though you have a great brand, your conversions are still going to, generally, be less than 10%. That's true for great brands like Apple and Gaga. And, that's true for you and me. It's a fact, being "great at sales" is actually 90% failure. So, the real question is: How many hoards of hungry bears are you willing to talk to, in order to find the ones who work for you?


Can I just say that I am forever jealous of the gay male bathhouse scene?

Honestly, the biggest drawback to being a lesbian is that we are not, as a general group, as free about the sex. Many times, in my adult life, I wished that I too could just take some poppers and have a semi anonymous person wank me off.

And, that's the beauty of statistics. The truth is that there are loads of lesbians who are into that as well. I just had to up my averages. And, hey, I realize going to Chicago for a sauna weekend is kinda expensive and maybe lame. But, I happen to own a sauna. (Rather my HOA has a couple) And, as a consequence, I have the ability to make some fantasy fulfillment happen, for me, on the cheap.

I hope this was both amusing and informative.