Not sure I should be here, but here I am

I've been monitoring LJ and popping back, a bit like an abandoned garden or house I kept an eye on the place — and suddenly there's lights on in the house and new plants in the garden.

Usually I'd give a fairly default 'welcome back!' post and then lapse back into watcher mode, wandering around the weeds and decay like I'm in the Omega Man. 

Not this time...going to document how stuff like this appears to me given what's happened to me in the last decade, especially the last 2 years. And a sort of update along the way....

Thing is this makes me feel very bittersweet — to have nostalgia for something you have to feel like you belong and have warm fuzzy memories, and I'm not sure I do anymore. I'm not throwing shade at those specifically here, I mean anywhere. Podcasting, mashups, my art peers — those social contracts which were flimsy before were completely nuked by the pandemic. It stole a lot from me — including my best friend, and other groups I was involved with became weird and catty like high school. 

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Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle any day, for a very fine view.

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