fingertrouble (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fingertrouble) wrote2006-09-08 05:43 pm
fingertrouble) wrote2006-09-08 05:43 pm
No compromises
I have a talent for offending people online.
I don't mean to, just that the unguarded uncensored me tends to do that here. In person I can say the exact same thing & not cause even a raised eyebrow.
I used to tear myself up about it, argue with these people, get upset. I even used to edit my posts incessantly (still do, it's a hard habit to drop), trying to leech out any inflammatory material (not that it really helped).
Not any more.
I'm tired of excusing who I am & trying to fit in with the dull lifeless pedantic morass. I want to be me and not have to argue about it cos some humourless prick doesn't get it, or me.
I'm not going to go around intentionally offending people, my humour may hit home rather too well sometimes; I never intend malice, but I'm going to try and stop worrying when it does happen, or self censor myself.
If people don't like that, it's not my fault.
I don't mean to, just that the unguarded uncensored me tends to do that here. In person I can say the exact same thing & not cause even a raised eyebrow.
I used to tear myself up about it, argue with these people, get upset. I even used to edit my posts incessantly (still do, it's a hard habit to drop), trying to leech out any inflammatory material (not that it really helped).
Not any more.
I'm tired of excusing who I am & trying to fit in with the dull lifeless pedantic morass. I want to be me and not have to argue about it cos some humourless prick doesn't get it, or me.
I'm not going to go around intentionally offending people, my humour may hit home rather too well sometimes; I never intend malice, but I'm going to try and stop worrying when it does happen, or self censor myself.
If people don't like that, it's not my fault.
no subject
What I do, and I do it well, is combine the first two!
But all the books say that the third way is better...
no subject
Problem is who decides your being assertive and not aggressive?
I had this all the time while growing up from the bitch-psycho-mother-from-hell-who-shall-not-be-named (issues? me?!? *innocent look*) that I was getting too big for my boots, who do you think you are, etc. etc. Meant I had the confidence and assertiveness of an ant; and still get very shy around people.
It's a northern thing, but also a British thing. Kills your confidence and all. So I'm not totally sure what is aggressive and what is assertive. I think depends on which side you are on.
Hence the female strength = bitch routine BS that women get. If people don't like your assertiveness they label it 'troublesome' 'aggression' 'diva attitude' - but being sure about yourself and who you want to be is none of those things. As long as you're not rude.