Sad to hear it's the same elsewhere - I suspected so; but I think there are big differences between Canadian and US and Europe bear scenes which usually get ignored - people assume it's the same everywhere. It isn't, and has never been.
nail on the head regarding the bears at the bars (I'm not going to give them the benefit by giving them a label that makes them somehow 'better' - you know what I mean - cos they're not.
I didn't sign up for any of that, I was programmed from an early age to like older men with beards; I was embarassed about it for many years when I realised that I was also sexually attracted, and the reason it took me 6-7 years to come out was that the gay scene didn't reflect that at all. So when bears came along I embraced it - it wasn't a fashion or genre thing for me.
But although I fit closest to that scene as seen from outside the gay world, inside I've never really fit. As I've said before, outside the bear scene I'm a bear, inside I'm not, so always on the periphery.
And yes before others say 'get more involved' I did around 98-2001 and experience was depressing as all-out war happened between the bear clubs; I went to the UK bear 'run' and even several of the Manchester bear events which were cool, but eventually died a death...
So I think we need an alternative! Especially in the UK, cos I think bears has died a death here or devolved into the types I detailed above. It's become a cliche, if only in commercial/organisational terms.
no subject
nail on the head regarding the bears at the bars (I'm not going to give them the benefit by giving them a label that makes them somehow 'better' - you know what I mean - cos they're not.
I didn't sign up for any of that, I was programmed from an early age to like older men with beards; I was embarassed about it for many years when I realised that I was also sexually attracted, and the reason it took me 6-7 years to come out was that the gay scene didn't reflect that at all. So when bears came along I embraced it - it wasn't a fashion or genre thing for me.
But although I fit closest to that scene as seen from outside the gay world, inside I've never really fit. As I've said before, outside the bear scene I'm a bear, inside I'm not, so always on the periphery.
And yes before others say 'get more involved' I did around 98-2001 and experience was depressing as all-out war happened between the bear clubs; I went to the UK bear 'run' and even several of the Manchester bear events which were cool, but eventually died a death...
So I think we need an alternative! Especially in the UK, cos I think bears has died a death here or devolved into the types I detailed above. It's become a cliche, if only in commercial/organisational terms.