fingertrouble (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fingertrouble) wrote2009-01-17 07:06 am
fingertrouble) wrote2009-01-17 07:06 am
A cheery wave from a stranded freelancer
Lying in the dark next to John, who's sleeping, listening to the rain, staring at the streetlight patterns on the wall. Thinking.
7 weeks without work and having done (well still am in) the depression phase I am really starting to panic.
I can't see myself still being here* by the end of 2009.
*London I mean, not comment whoring going to kill myself WAHMBULANCE level, but yeah, tis supremely, intensely and horrifically shit.
John has some work I can do but it's short term, desperately thinking of what else I can do and am already scaling back everything (if it wasn't for John I'd not go out at all, no way I can pay for anything other than a drink which to a proud man like me is depressing).
Bah. Not that I expect anyone to care - I've learned that on the Internet everyone can hear you scream, but only responds if they either want to shag you or you don't freak them out too much - one of the reasons I keep most of this stuff off LJ and don't post very much.
To quote Gnarls Barkley - "but who cares?"
7 weeks without work and having done (well still am in) the depression phase I am really starting to panic.
I can't see myself still being here* by the end of 2009.
*London I mean, not comment whoring going to kill myself WAHMBULANCE level, but yeah, tis supremely, intensely and horrifically shit.
John has some work I can do but it's short term, desperately thinking of what else I can do and am already scaling back everything (if it wasn't for John I'd not go out at all, no way I can pay for anything other than a drink which to a proud man like me is depressing).
Bah. Not that I expect anyone to care - I've learned that on the Internet everyone can hear you scream, but only responds if they either want to shag you or you don't freak them out too much - one of the reasons I keep most of this stuff off LJ and don't post very much.
To quote Gnarls Barkley - "but who cares?"