fingertrouble (
fingertrouble) wrote2010-08-26 01:15 am
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Music 30 #12 - A song from a band you hate
Well I'm going to assume band can mean act or artist...
It's strangely quite hard for me to think of an act I entirely and totally hate - yes I have REALLY strong opinions on music and most of the time can back them up - but usually a band has at least song I don't despise, or someone did a mashup or remix of it that made me see it in another light.
The following acts have no redeeming features EVER:
Jason Donovan.
Yes I know some of you 80's Cheese Queens are going 'WHAT? NO WAI!!!' but really, it doesn't get worse than this...well maybe Spagna and Taylor Dayne but their careers were mercifully short. Stock Aitken Waterman the producers started well - doing pop versions of black house tunes, Roadblock, Mel and Kim and Dead or Alive. But at some point in 86 or 87 they decided to go for the money and produce soap stars as pop artists. Now the only one that really paid off and actually probably could sing was Kylie - but Jason especially on that first duet couldn't. Stefan Dennis, Dannii and Rick fucking Astley followed, and some really bad Charidee singles. Nothing Jason Donovan has done can I like, and I've left a club for playing both him and Rick. There's good 80's cheese and there is bad wedding disco from hell 80's cheese. Most S/A/W/ after 1987 falls into the latter.
Pearl Jam
Lumpen, depressing (and I like depressing music), tuneless, badly played (listen to those drums? Can't you fucking play in time?), Nirvana-copying, emo-girl-razor baiting and a voice like a puking walrus. I've never got why anyone likes Pearl Jam. Like the Kit Kat ad, they can't sing, can't play and look awful. I liked grunge, especially Nirvana but never got why anyone liked PJ. And Eddie Vedder makes Billy Corgan and Liam Gallagher look shy and retiring in the arrogance stakes.
Led Zep
Not sure if it's the pseudo pagan floaty hangover or the 20 minute drum solos, but I've never liked nor never understood why people wank over Led Zep 1-4, apart from Whole Lotta Love. That's a fucking great pop and rock track - but the rest always makes me think self-indulgent post-hippie prog-wank. I mean Black Sabbath existed right? Even ZZ-Top? Probably an early Judas Priest and 'Maiden poking around somewhere? So why listen to this stodgy leaden pseudo-hippy rock? I'll even give them When the Levee Breaks for that classic hiphop break, but the rest? Stairway DENIED most definitely.
Beastie Boys
I can imagine a needle scratch at this point and everyone looking like the Slaughtered Lamb in my direction. But although I've learnt to hate them less, even like one track (Intergalactic - pop classic) and not mind Sabotage, I was enough of a hiphop kid listening to Eric B and Rakim via Coldcut or MC Merlin or even Cookie Crew and Wee Papas to just go 'that's not rap, that's shouting'. It just seemed like hiphop for white guys who didn't like hiphop (but RunDMC had done the rock/rap thing before and better too). Their rap skills have gotten better...but still, they're no Public Enemy - or even Eminem.
Besides they always remind me of this great spoof:
It's strangely quite hard for me to think of an act I entirely and totally hate - yes I have REALLY strong opinions on music and most of the time can back them up - but usually a band has at least song I don't despise, or someone did a mashup or remix of it that made me see it in another light.
The following acts have no redeeming features EVER:
Jason Donovan.
Yes I know some of you 80's Cheese Queens are going 'WHAT? NO WAI!!!' but really, it doesn't get worse than this...well maybe Spagna and Taylor Dayne but their careers were mercifully short. Stock Aitken Waterman the producers started well - doing pop versions of black house tunes, Roadblock, Mel and Kim and Dead or Alive. But at some point in 86 or 87 they decided to go for the money and produce soap stars as pop artists. Now the only one that really paid off and actually probably could sing was Kylie - but Jason especially on that first duet couldn't. Stefan Dennis, Dannii and Rick fucking Astley followed, and some really bad Charidee singles. Nothing Jason Donovan has done can I like, and I've left a club for playing both him and Rick. There's good 80's cheese and there is bad wedding disco from hell 80's cheese. Most S/A/W/ after 1987 falls into the latter.
Pearl Jam
Lumpen, depressing (and I like depressing music), tuneless, badly played (listen to those drums? Can't you fucking play in time?), Nirvana-copying, emo-girl-razor baiting and a voice like a puking walrus. I've never got why anyone likes Pearl Jam. Like the Kit Kat ad, they can't sing, can't play and look awful. I liked grunge, especially Nirvana but never got why anyone liked PJ. And Eddie Vedder makes Billy Corgan and Liam Gallagher look shy and retiring in the arrogance stakes.
Led Zep
Not sure if it's the pseudo pagan floaty hangover or the 20 minute drum solos, but I've never liked nor never understood why people wank over Led Zep 1-4, apart from Whole Lotta Love. That's a fucking great pop and rock track - but the rest always makes me think self-indulgent post-hippie prog-wank. I mean Black Sabbath existed right? Even ZZ-Top? Probably an early Judas Priest and 'Maiden poking around somewhere? So why listen to this stodgy leaden pseudo-hippy rock? I'll even give them When the Levee Breaks for that classic hiphop break, but the rest? Stairway DENIED most definitely.
Beastie Boys
I can imagine a needle scratch at this point and everyone looking like the Slaughtered Lamb in my direction. But although I've learnt to hate them less, even like one track (Intergalactic - pop classic) and not mind Sabotage, I was enough of a hiphop kid listening to Eric B and Rakim via Coldcut or MC Merlin or even Cookie Crew and Wee Papas to just go 'that's not rap, that's shouting'. It just seemed like hiphop for white guys who didn't like hiphop (but RunDMC had done the rock/rap thing before and better too). Their rap skills have gotten better...but still, they're no Public Enemy - or even Eminem.
Besides they always remind me of this great spoof: